As the Woman of the Family

This was the exact scenario when it happened..

I was 4 months pregnant with Anika, Allison was 4, Allson was 1.

I had the option to leave him before this. Because he has already made the circumstances in my life so painful to bear. But I didn't do that. Because I want this family to be intact. Despite everything.

There were times while he was crying in front of me, begging for forgiveness, I thought of how to tell him that I don't love him anymore, that I want to leave him then but I didn't want him hurt. I didn't tell him anything because the last thing I would want to do would be to hurt somebody.

At the time when the only issue was his inferiority complex, his uselessness, inutility and violence, I was still able to bear everything. As the woman of the family, I had to bear those to keep us intact. I made a promise to myself that I will never give up. But the mistress issue would be a different story. That's something unforgiveable.

I thought life was about to end and I mourned for quite a while.

But look at me now... I am so alive and have moved on this far! Life was a lot better since he left!

Life was less complicated. Life was more abundant.

When I live each day, I had to make twice the effort. I always had to make sure that I put the kids on top of everything. I had to make sure I meet what they need, and what they deserve. It's not easy being a single mom. The difficulty's aggravated by a thought saying "ey, i shouldnt be doing this alone ah" o kaya "i'm so stressed with making the ends meet, while you a**holes are enjoying?". Pero tama na kakaisip jan.

All the effort, all the hirap is reciprocated naman, in all fairness-- I always get twice the love and twice the blessings. All these started happening. Since the person left.