Unappreciated and Unloved

Last Wednesday, I celebrated my 20th(lol! who am i kidding?!☺) birthday. My boss treated me and my bff Ginny to Northpark ATC. We got a big dish of birthday noodles, dumplings, some shrimps and brocolli. Thanks boss, for that fantabulous lunch!


Ginny made a greeting badoodle for me (which I have previously mentioned in my earlier entry). I super appraciate having good friends around.

Buti na lang I have good friends. They make me feel special and appreciated. Because... I can never expect my husband to be that way. As in never. He has never made me feel special. Never made me feel appreciated. Never made me feel loved. I just sometimes wish I don't exist. Or was it, I just sometimes wish HE did not exist? lol. I am still thankful we crossed each other's paths. Without him, I would not have had my two wonderful kids.

I don't know. Was he really born like that? I always ask myself about this. I always ask him, too. He would always tell me he's doing his best to make me feel I am loved and that he is not born cheezy and sweet so I really cannot expect my ideals from him.

Wtf! Why can't I feel a thing?

Honestly, I always magnified the smallest things he does just to make me feel like he really cares for me, and that he really loves me. Another wtf! Who am I kidding now?

Until now, I can't convince myself to believe him. I am the BIG LOSER here. Let's just laugh about that. I'll start appreciating the most wonderful thins in life...

Like these two little brats:

The ate picked a yellow bell bloom from our backyard, handed it to the little boy, then took a frosted cupcake and put a candle on top of it, then had her lola lit the candle. The kids greeted me a happy birthday as I open the gate when I came home from work last Thursday. Allison with the messy cupcake with a lighted candle on top, and Allson with an almost crushed yellow flower in his right hand. These kids were excited for their little surprise for mommy.

I realized then... I don't care about how unimportant I am to you. What matters here now is that, my kids love me and they will always make me feel loved, valued and appreciated. Behlat to you!