Surviving the Financial Challenges of Being a Single Mommy

How does Ulai survive this financial challenge? Being dukha is tough. Being a dukhang single provider slash single nanay makes it tougher. 

I am not a financial management guru, but I have learned to be practical and frugal in the course of my being a single nanay for (technically) the past 6 years. 

In the past, these were the usual items on top of my list every after pay day:

1. Milk and Nappies
2. Utility Bills

3. Loans

4. Aton’s Tuition

5. Food/ Groceries

6. Transportation to work (lalai and sperm donor)

7. Aton’s Baon

8. Miscellaneous Expenses

Akchali, hindi pa man dumarating ang pay day, ubos na ang laman ni paycheck sa list ng mga bayarin at bibilhin. So every month, every week, every day, I try to stretch everything out and make both ends meet. Sobrang hirap. Sobrang tiis tiis. And lahat ng pwede kong i-raket at pagkakitaan, ginagawa ko na. Kaya most of the time, I have no sleep.  Super stressed. Physically, financially, emotionally. It could’ve been at least a little easier if I had a katuwang. But life was not that fair then. Pero okay lang. We were able to get by anyway.

There were a few changes made to this list. With the help of better planning, discipline, and self-control, life improved.

Dati pa man, I am good at planning and budgeting. So madali na talaga itong part na ito. Basta merong ibbudget. Madalas kase noon, wala talaga. We thought it would be easier pag both of us are earning na. WE thought that if we'd earn more, we'll be able to meet all our needs. But then, when he got a job, his salary was not even enough to satisfy his wants. It was easier when I was the only one working (and earning),  at least alam kong sarili ko lang ang aasahan ko, I didn't have false expectations from anybody. The good Lord was always there. He has always helped us get by.

When our salaries increased, the sperm donor thought everything would be enough. But then, he changed. His lifestyle changed. He had more wants. He had more debts. So ang ending, ako pa din ang sasalo ng lahat.

So I learned commitment, discipline and self-control. Eto talaga yung tough part. Sarili ko na kase ang kalaban ko dito. 

So ayun, there were major decisions made. And life was better.

 

Hahaba na itong sharing na ito if I would elaborate pa. Well, anyway, here’s what I have for my list now:

1. Milk 

2. Savings

3. Utility Bills

4. Food/Groceries

5. Transportation to work (Lalai) and to Aton’s School

6. Aton’s Baon

7. Miscellaneous Expenses

8. Leisure with the kids

The NAPPIES were removed from the list when I started cloth diapering. My kids’ cloth diaper stash was an investment. I used to spend around 2k a month for Allson and Anika’s disposable nappies. 

We are now able to save this amount when we switched to cloth nappying.

Cloth nappying is a commitment. Hindi lang sya commitment sa budget. Commitment ko din yan kay MOTHER EARTH. You know naman how much I love Mother Earth diba? Iniimagine ko kase kung gaano katagal magdecompose ang mga disposable nappies. Like 3-5 centuries? Tas they don't degrade well in landfills. =( Because of this, I also learned to commit to this every other day laundry thing.

Sorry, I suddenly went off topic. 

Going back, top of the list pa din ang MILK. Can’t take this off yet as my kids are still babies. Alam nyo yan!

My indians were all breastfed 'til a little over age 2. I commited myself to bf-ing because I knew it's healthier, more than the fact that this also saved me a fortune sa price ng milk ngayon. I don't want this to happen again. 

At present, mommy had to buy Nido Jr, Nido 3+, and Nido Fortified (aton just graduated from Nido 5+ yehey!) for these indians. These can't be taken off yet from the grocery list.

SAVINGS comes next. Ideally, I should allocate half of my take home salary to savings. Medyo impossible pa itey ngunit pipilitin natin yang i-achieve in the very near future. Will take little steps muna. Yung doable at kapani-paniwala. 500 pesos in a payday is not bad. That gives me a 12,000 peso ipon in a year. Not bad, di ba? 

Wag nyo maliitin yang 12k na yan. Sa aming mga hindi kasing rich ninyo, malaking bagay na yan!

I wish I can keep doing this para may mahuhugot kami, in case of emergency. :)

UTILITY BILLS. Wala naman akong kawala dito. So it comes third on the list.

Before, I was only paying for the Meralco, water, and phone bills. Now, I have a credit card bill added to the list. I opened one to consolidate my utility bills (and to take advantage of cash back rewards. Hehe…) Of course, I made sure I wouldn’t have to pay for anything more than what I spend. 

Getting a credit card is okay. It’s beneficial as long as you are a responsible cardholder. I opted for a card without an Annual Fee and made sure it’s ALWAYS paid in full each month so you don’t have to pay for interest. This one I have gives me cash back. It’s like I am being credited P1,000 max a month for using it. Cool, ayt? 

Let me clarify by the way… although credit cards give me more spending power, I always had to remind myself that credit card is utang. Debt. If I need to get out of debt, I shouldn’t make utang. I shouldn’t abuse the purchasing power this credit card gives me. So, anjan na tayo. DISCIPLINE and SELF-CONTROL should always lead. I still maintain a strict budgetary guideline on everything, and a budgeted grocery/shopping list.

Balik tayo sa usapang bills. I monitor how much we spend for each utility. When I observe that the Meralco bill's shootin up, we try to manage our electric consumption. Strict ako sa rule na dapat i-turn off ang tv or ang fan, or ang lights, when not in use. We heat on stovetop instead of using the microwave. And only iron clothes once a week. Sa phone bill naman, since hindi ako ma-text or ma-call na tao, maximum of 100pesos lang siguro ang consumption ko for calls and texts. Sa water bill, we only range about 300-400pesos in a month. When it shoos up to 500, nag-iinvestigate na ako. Hehe..

Well, so far, ayan lang ang bills namin. I got our landline and internet cut, and had no cable subscriptions. I don't think they're necessary naman.

Now, the LOAN thing is out of the list. I got the LOANS paid off so I’ll have one less thing to worry about every pay day. 

ATON’S TUITION was also removed from the list! I was blessed enough to have a bright kid. She now goes to the Special Science Elementary School in Dasma, so we don’t have to pay for any monthly tuition dues anymore. 

These are the kids of Dasma II's SSES First Grade

I could imagine somebody frowning at me here. At the thought that my Aton goes to a public school. I remember this somebody, na minamaliit ako when she first knew me. That somebody na nagsabi "UP? Di ba public school lang yan? Ang anak ko, nag-aaral sa La Salle!" Ewan ko ba jan kay somebody na iyan. Parang napakababa ng tingin nya sa UP Diliman. Well, anyway, enough of this side story. Let’s go back to my thingy here…

So ayun. I am saving another fortune on Aton’s schooling. I hope my little ones will be able to go to ate’s school, too. Then mommy’s alma mater later (though I know more than x3 to the nth power na ung tuition sa UP nowadays). I would still save a lot! 

I remember when Aton was in nursery. Nursery pa lang sya, I was already signing promissory letters na. Super mahirap naman kase talaga ng life namin when their sperm donor and I are still together. Just imagine, pre-elementary pa lang, I sign promissory letters na. Pano pa kaya when all three of them are studying na and all three would be in college? Chances are… Ulai will be in debt! 

So ayun na nga. No further explanations needed. Sending Aton to a good public school is one of the best decisions I’ve made. :) 

FOOD/ GROCERIES. Syempre, kelangan nyan. When you have a meager budget, you can’t ask your kids to not eat because you have other things to buy, or stuff to pay. Food yan eh. Basic need. So kelangan isatisfy. Pero when you aren’t filthy rich, food should still be budgeted. I can’t splurge on food. We don’t have that luxury. But of course, I always had to make sure that we’re eating right. Yung hindi gutom. 

Planning out the week's menu before my trip to the supermarket or palengke makes the grocery chore a breeze!

The bottom part of my weekly planner looks like this:

I use a credit card for our groceries. But I have a budget. It's easier to manage my grocery budget when I have a grocery list. And I stick to it. Walang compulsive buys! (I reserve these on compulsions only when I am emo. Charot lang! :) ).

As much as possible, I shop alone. But if I can't avoid bringing my Indians with me, we first agree na walang unnecessary buys. Na ang bibilhin lang ay ang nasa list ni mommy. They would agree naman. We have to have that agreement or else, hindi sila isasama. Sapagkat, masisira ang budget! 

Aside from the fact that kids plead much when at the grocery, you would tend to eat out after grocery, or something to that effect. So when they accompany mommy to the supermarket, we bring our own water and biscuits. Solb na naman kame don basta the shopping doesn't take long.

At the supermarket, I had to be strict. At kinakailangan magbaon ng maraming self-control. When the stuff exceeds my budgetary guideline, I take it off from the cart. Ganun talaga. kelangan may discipline. Kahit gustong gusto ko nang bilhin yang Jiff's chocolate and peanut butter whipped spread o yang Mrs. Goodman's chunky chewy chocolate chip cookies, o kahit yang aking ever favorite Reese's peanut butter cups, or Ben&Jerry's Karamel Sutra, hindi ko yan dadamputin kung wala sya sa list. Dahil, again, masisira ang maayos kong pinagplanuhang budget!

I have learned to plan a menu based on the produce in season. Pag mura ang talong, ang okra, or ang kalabasa, we have it on the menu. Same thing when tilapia, cream dory, or bangus would be in season. Green leafy veggies are the usual items on my menu. They don't cost much, and our tummies prefer them. :)

I am lucky enough,too, to have kids (and a mom) na hindi picky eater. Well, the two older kids used to be picky pero they now have learned to eat what's served. Nasa training na din siguro yan. Anyway, I am lucky :) 

We are also not so much into pork. More of fish and veggies ang diet namin. Pero minsan, nagppork din naman kami or beef. Pero sobrang dalang. This explains why I don't spend that much for our food.

We buy canned stuff din naman. Like sardines, meat loaf, and tuna. I keep a stack since they come in handy in case of emergencies. 

Minsan, I try to recycle food (syempre dapat yung edible pa ha.. At fit pa for human consumption!) Like last night, we had sauted mongo sprouts for supper, and this morning, nai-convert ko yung leftover namin into fritters! So we had okoy for breakfast :) Tipid dava! Sometimes, when we have leftover sinaing na tulingan or paksiw na galunggog for the day's meal, they get fried the next day. Sarap ka-partner ng sinangag! Tipid again diba?

You probably think that this menu's kinda lifeless and boring. Dontchaworry, on weekends naman, when i have the luxury of time, I try to cook something special. Planado lagi ang weekend menu kase may partner lagi yang dessert or some pastry that the kids and I would bake together. :)

Next on the list. Of course, dapat may budget din for TRANSPORTATION. To my workplace, and to Aton's school. 

Before, Aton and I would just walk to and fro her school. We would consider the distance between our home and Aton's old school as walking distance. Morning exercise na rin yun for both of us.

At present though, we would have to take public commute to reach Aton's school. Minimum fare lang naman. And Aton takes a lap seat. Kalong ka na muna kay mommy, anak. At 8.50 din yan :) (omg, i am so kuripot! Haha). At least, we're able to save pa din. :)

My transportation allowance was cut to half when the sperm donor left. Hehe.. Laking relief! Lol

And when going somewhere malayo, I first weigh if there's a need for us to bring a car. I take into account, the gas and toll fees. Most of the time kase, it's cheaper to take the public transpo. Sometimes, it becomes an adventure pa!

Long bus rides, train rides, etc... Experience din for the kids:

Now, next on the list is Aton's allowance. Sushal davah? May allowance chenes na sya. Hehe.. Her baon's 100pesos a week. That's about 20pesos a day. I sometimes allow her to budget her one week's baon herself so she would learn to manage her baon at this early age. I was surprised to discover that she keeps most of her baon and just spends like 5pesos for her soup at school. Meron syang secret na lalagyab where she keeps her savings. Sometimes, when we go out on weekends, she would treat her siblings for an ice cream (yung tag-8pesos sa waltermart) or holy kettle corn, or anything. Sweet ate noh?

We go to the MISCELLANEOUS expenses. These are the everyday hugots. Which may include, but not limited to, fare for errands, mga pambili ng pan de sal or snacks, bayad sa mga chenelin, or anything ma hindi ko na-categorize sa mga expenses na nasa list ko. These are manageable naman. So kering keri na itong portion na ito.

At ito ang favorite ko sa listahang itey! Ang LEISURE with the kids! 

Our getaways and gimmicks or eat outs need not cost much. I just had to be a little creative to make inexpensive day outs fun!

One nice inexpensive day out would be a picnic at a park--

Biking at a carless village, or at the back/frontyard--

Or swimming at tita nice's place --

Or visiting titas or cousins--

Or we can also stay at home and do some artsy craftsies--

Or inflate a pool and swim at the backyard!--

A big one would be great:

But a small one's fine still:

Active fun will always be my better option over watching dvds and potato couching, or playing on ipads or tablets. Mas fun kase. Mas may interaction kaming mag-iina. Busy na ako the whole week for my work, so I make sure that when I am home, I'd be able to spend the bestest times with them.

On watching dvds naman, okay lang itey. The fun thing about watching say, Hi-5 on dvd is, we sing and dance together! Hehe.. Syempre dapat pati si mommy game na game din sakyan ang song and dance ng Hi-5! O kaya naman ng imagination movers. Game na game din naman akong sabayan ang chorus ng Let It Go (with matching kampay kampay nga hands like throwing ice in the air) kahit na may time na higit labindalawang bes sa isang araw kung i-play yang Frozen na yan. 

For getaways, i plan and research well, and try to always get the best getaway buys on hotels and airfares. Most of the time, I am able to get discounted rates online!

One of our favorite staycation places would be La Traviesa Hotel and Resort in GenTri.

We have visited the place for a number of times na. For Php1799 living social buy, we get an overnight stay for 2 adults, and the kids free of charge! This already includes breakfast for 2, and they do not charge corkage for brought in food. Nice di ba?

One thing which probably helped us survive despite our limited family income would be our being low maintenance. We are not so much into expensive hobbies, pricey food, branded stuff (though we are very thankful naman sa mga nagbibigay.  smiley =)). Okay lang naman maging simple. Or jologs. Or frugal. It made me resourceful naman. Kaya when people tell me I'm kuripot, kiber lang. There's nothing wrong with being frugal. I am proud to be fashionably kuripot. Because there's nothing wrong with living with the only means we have. At least diba, walang utang!

When I/we badly want something, we make sure that we save for it. Ayoko naman ng mangungutang for our good time. It makes one thing extra special pag alam kong pinag-ipunan, pinaghirapan namin syang ma-achieve. So ayun nga, whenever I want to buy something, or do something, or go somewhere, I make sure that we have the means to achieve it. =)

What else do I have to share here? Hmmm.. Will add them later na lng  when I have access to a better internet connection. So far, eto na muna. I hope i made some sense with this sharing. :)

Disclaimer: This entry doesn't mean that i am not financially struggling anymore. Being a single mommy and provider for the three kids is still an everyday challenge for me. I only have one job (and a few rakets) which I know, may not be enough to meet our future needs. I just wanted to share the decisions I've made, the changes I had, and the things I kept doing, which made us survive the (and prepare for the future's) challenges and considerably made things better. =)

For the love of my three little indians,

Xoxo,

Lorie